| 591. | Ten Ways To Get In Shape To Own A Horse
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Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off,stupid! Get off!"
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Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet!
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Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse/pocket and write out a $200. check without even looking down.
- Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing.They might as well know now.
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Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
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6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales is fun!" and " I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place - I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place".
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Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
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Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be'...(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled."
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Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
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Marry Money!
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| 592. | The last thing a carrot sees is the open mouth of a horse.
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| 593. | A saddle is something special just between you and your horse.
- Stubben saddlery
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| 594. | Anything forced or misunderstood can never be beautiful.
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| 595. | When you fall of your horse, usually what's most hurt is your pride.
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| 596. | If a dancer was forced to dance by whips and spikes, He would be no more beautiful than a horse trained under the simular conditions.
- Xenophon
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| 597. | Don't look at a horse as an animal, look as if the horse is a real person. Because a horse can tell the difference.
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| 598. | A love for a fad may last only a day, but a love for a horse is never ending.
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| 599. | WANTED: A cowboy with a heart of gold, sweet smile, loving attitude, truck, and horse. Please send pic of truck and horse.
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| 600. | All he needs to straighten him out is a piece of lead behind the left ear.
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